Can You Feel It

You know how people say that you can feel change coming? Is that true? Is it like the energy in the air right before lightning strikes near you? Or like pheromones that people give off to attract others? (Is that even true?)

If it is, I think I can feel it. You could chalk this feeling up to a number of different reasons: I’m getting older, the company I work for isn’t making the kind of money it needs to in order to survive in this economy, I’m not 100 % in line with what my boss is trying to do (remember my worries/complaining about the whole vision thing?), I’m tired of where I am.

That last one may not be entirely true. I’m not the kind of person who jumps from job to job. I’ve held this current position for over five years. And I’ve also come to the understanding that, despite my proclamations against the idea, I am not completely turned off from the idea of my replacing my boss and actually leading the force. (We’ll call it a force for now shall we?)

With the economy as it is, money is just not something people throw away. And I really shouldn’t say “throw away” because with this company is not about throwing money away. But, let’s admit it, we aren’t feeling too secure right now. And if my spouse and I want to start having kids, we really need to begin thinking about relocating or moving up the ladder of pay/responsibility/work hours.

For five years I’ve been telling people that I have no desire to be the CEO; I have no plans of being the lead person. I have felt a special place within me to stay on the rung that I have perched safely. Yet now, with choices looming on the foreground, I’m actually entertaining the thought of rising to that level. And I think I could have so much energy for it – such a bold vision in where to take this force.

One job offer fell through. I think I’ve already mentioned that in an earlier post. And while doing a very small inspection locally, I have not found many positions that fit my profile. At least positions that provide full-time activities.

You feel the strain right? Do you feel as if you could continue with your current career for the next twenty or thirty years? Do you worry about finances? Maybe you aren’t going paycheck to paycheck but you aren’t fulfilling your goals, right?

What will it take for me to feel secure? What do I need to let go of? When will I feel satisfied?